page2a-thoughts

.....a honda magna 750 eh??? I have owned four hondas ( '71 and '77
750Fours and '77 and '82 GoldWings) and one '93 suzuki katana (that
was my 0 to 160 blaster I would race at Del Valle Speedway). Now its
just the 77 750 which is in excellent shape - right now it is garaged (Jan
2002) and having the steering column redone along with some other
front end stuff - I tend to treat my bikes like I treat myself - with great care
and respect, most often taking better care of my bike than myself.....Over
the last 30some years I have put many miles on my bikes, never owning
anything but motorcycles and use them 24/7/365. It's been my life and we
are a dying breed. .....Too many gay men tend to look at us differently
though at times and we are supposed to have some sort of "image" to
keep - I said fuck that image thing years ago......
..... I know exactly what I want and desire and have no problems
expressing myself these days, after much soul searching and inner
healing..... many of the gay men I spoken with have this misconception
as to how bikers are supposed to be (without feelings, rough, very
sexual, mean...you know what I am talking about).....when I open my heart
and soul to them it blows that image thing away and then these guys are
not interested.....their loss, not mine!

2002

.....nope!...I'm no angel!.....2002

1999

Fall 2001 Springfield MO

.....I'm a very simple man myself. Life use to be so damn complicated but over the years I have discovered that
the less complicated things are around me, the easier it is to move forward....when I left Texas friends and
extended family encouraged me to buy into a 2 year plan with Verizon (I get 3000 weekend minutes a month
and 400 weekday minutes under my plan).....
.....my friends know how sometimes I tend to become really reclusive. I have become somewhat reclusive
these past couple of months but no where near what I use to be - there was a time I actually shut everyone out
for about 2 years.....a lone rider man.....
.....I enjoy making love and I enjoy doing it without a condom. I like the touching, the sucking, the fucking, the
cuddling, the jerking off, the tenderness, the rawness of carnal sex and much more... I jerk off a lot though as I
do not go out picking people up.....
.....I'm the sort of guy who would rather save that physical touch for someone who has some heart and feelings.
I can honestly say that I can count the number of men I have slept with on 3 hands - seriously - including the
three relationships, over the past 30some years.....most gay men I have met tend to base their relationships on
sex first and do not want to see beyond that exterior.....I always look deep within a person and that's what I like to
base a relationship upon.....and hopefully that person will have some sort of spiritual life.....
.....I have a very healthy spiritual life, a mixed bag of various beliefs rolled into something that has always worked
for me - it's one of the reasons I've survived for so long.....ya gotta have some faith and belief in something.....I
have been a top all my life it seems..... my first partner Alec attempted to top me several times but it was nearly
impossible as he was hung huge - so I was the top in that relationship for years. My 2nd partner had no desire
to top and my third acted dis-interested in wanting to do it. When I met the last two they told me they were
versatile but when it came down to it, they never wanted to fuck - I was their "daddy" and the roles were
established and I fed into it..... the 3rd one tried a couple of times but I just wasn't interested.....it's just been
recent (November 2001) that I have aggressively started to explore my bottom side with a friend - this friend has
fucked me a couple of times and that's it.....he's just into jerking off though but he's a real good friend.....
......I'm probably THE most frustrated top that ever lived..... I have a very high sex drive and cannot seem to get
enough of it. I jerk off twice a day at the least and with my former partners it was sex daily except for my 3rd - he
said it was too much sex for him to handle and I only got it once a week with my cock.....he was much happier
with a fist or large dildo up his butt.....he's a good person at heart though and I do love him and hope that he
finds what he is truly looking for but he's gotta discover what's deep within himself first..... to this day I have not
found a guy who enjoys having sex more than once a day.....I jerk off a lot as I do not wish to share myself with
just anyone - I would rather do it alone than do it without love coming from both directions....I would enjoy very
much finding my soulmate who would enjoy fucking me just as much as I would fuck him. I really would enjoy
that but it always seems that the tops are NOT attracted to me (one told me that I was intimidating to other tops!)
in a serious relationship and guys who are predominately a bottom come my way. I told my best friend that it
seems to be my curse in life - but she says that one day I will meet my match.....we'll see......
.....No I do not get involved with people who are already involved with someone else - I have had that happen to
me and I know how that hurts guy! I also am a firm believer in monogamy and it's my belief that two guys should
explore and discover their sexuality with each other rather than going out and doing it with a multiple
partners.....it's cheating and someone always gets hurt, even in those open relationships - most guys will not
talk about that hurt though - they channel it into anger or frustration.....and you gotta communicate what it is you
are feeling with your partner and find a compromise.....
.....Cheating??? Well in a sense it is as you're denying your partner the benefit of that! If two people cannot do it
together then they need to sit down and communicate and find out what the barriers are which prevent them
from exploring each other and then work on breaking those barriers down.....

.....in front of my Austin home 1991.....that's an '82 GoldWing.....

?..I've reposted my personal ads several places.....told several
people it is my intent to take off in May for 3 to 4 months on the
road.....been planning this trip while I am still in decent health to
see the canyons and peaks one more time in utah/Arizona and
some other places.....it all depends on the responses I get this
time around and if nothing happens, then fuck - I'm going on the
road for an infinite period of time, gonna be a scooter tramp for
a while.....may even drive until I drop.....I spent too much time
over the past 3 years or so looking and I feel that anymore time
past April would be better spent just traveling and seeing the
things I want to see again.....new places I have not been. It
would be nice to have someone there with me sharing it all but
its more important for me to just to go ahead and do it - sure I
will be lonely but that will be forgotten quickly as I embrace the
sights and sounds around me.....I will never be alone though as
I do carry the spirits of Alec and Dingo within me and they are
there with me.....I also have those who are alive that do love and
care for me and I will always find comfort in that..........ya gotta
see the roads on an iron horse, feeling the slapping warm
winds against my face is refreshing and stirs something very
deep within me. Having someone to ride it with, either along
side of me or riding with me, being able to share all that, means
much to me but whether there's someone there or not, I'll enjoy
the trip regardless......If the right person comes along though
between now and then I will have to adjust my plans
somewhat.....I would either ask that person to join me (and I
would probably cut the trip down to a couple of months and then
move to where ever that person lived and plant new roots) or I
would tell that person if they wouldn't join me that I am still going
on the road but they will have to wait until I return...if they still
want to pursue a relationship with me that's OK but I will not set
a time limit on my road trip - either way, I accomplish one or
both of my priorities.....but then again one never knows what can
happen when the hearts take their grip together.....Thanks
guy.....and do not worry about offending me in any way. The only
thing I ever found offensive in Life are people who do harm to
others, including children and animals, and those who do not
know how to live Life.....and the smell of a dead
buzzard.....noreso pretentious people who don't like getting their
hands dirty - mud and oil play are great to play in but most gay
men I've met don't even wanna get lube on their leather slings,
or the sheets for that matter.....